December 8, 2012 by luzzara
What do I stand for? What is my why?
Over a year ago I watched a TEDtalk that really blew my mind, How great leaders inspire action. I have now watched it countless times, I fell in love with the concept that @SimonSinek speaks about, his golden circle, Why, How, What. Why do we do what we do? This question has pushed me to ask myself, What do I stand for?
At twenty-nine, perhaps this should be an easy question to answer, but do I exemplify what I think I stand for whenever possible? Do I go out of my way to preach what I stand for or is it because I don’t preach that my values, ethics and beliefs are more honest and authentic? This topic seems overwhelming at 11am on a cold (sick) Saturday morning and I don’t know if it is because I don’t know what I stand for or that I do know but don’t know how to express it.
Earlier this week, a new friend read my blog and sent me a message that said “Great to have a small inside view into a complex individual” I replied “I don’t think I’m that complex” he responded “It was meant in a wonderful way. Like great food… Complex. Awesome!” Since this conversation, I can’t stop thinking about how we are all so complex, like the coffee I am drinking, we have depth, highs, lows and can be so intriguing. So why did I so quickly stated that I’m not complex, cause if you really know me I got a lot going on in this head of mine, in that moment I believed I was simple, and took complex as almost a slight for a split second.
Why do I bring this example of my week into this discussion about what I stand for and what my why is, because it is an example of life being much more then one statement, so much depth that we might stand for a lot of different things and it is hard to state just one. I have so many why’s, this complexity is probably why it is so had for me to narrow it down, and do I have too?
I can say without hesitation that I believe in the good in people, I believe the world is so much bigger then ourselves and because of that we need to work together to improve not only ourselves but also the world beyond us. I believe, that people are people – no matter their race, sexual orientation, religious views, where they come from or their economic status and because of that I believe all people should be given respect, dignity and love. I believe in community and even in this age of disconnect and super connect that we need to work together to support one another. I believe that you are blessed with a family, but also blessed with the gift to create a family filled with people who you get to choose.
Life isn’t black and white, taking a stand for what you believe is hard in a world of judgments and a lack of mutual respect, at this point in my journey I can’t say just one thing that I stand for but I can say, you will hear about it when I do, you will hear about it with respect to others opinions and you will hear mine. Today I can say that my “why” is people. Why I do what I do is to create conversation, grow community, build strong relationships, learn, teach and grow with and from others… people I love People.
Dalai Lama’s 18 rules for living
At the start of the new millennium the Dalai Lama apparently issued eighteen rules for living.
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs:
1. Respect for self 2. Respect for others 3. Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.